*phewwiiitt* I turned around and saw two young men staring at me with the biggest grin on their faces. I just looked at them with a deadpan look, too dumbfounded to express any feelings. I was in a hospital…and being wolf-whistled at was the last thing that crossed my mind. 

I dreaded the way out as I had to walk pass them again. Thinking back, I regretted looking down the whole way out and worst of all, I was the one feeling embarrassed as I hear them snicker and making audible whispering comments. I should have stared them down and make them feel the shame, but I was actually too scared to reciprocate. I was in a hospital in the middle of nowhere and the fact that I was not alone only made me not want to do/say anything. There were nurses and doctors and other patients around but they only looked on and said nothing, as if this isn’t an odd situation/practice.     

This is not the first time that it has happened to me, and this post is not about me trying to subtly tell everyone that I’m such a looker that I attract the males even in a hospital, because God knows how miserable I looked the whole time I was there (believe me, this is no attempt at being humble either). And I was not even in skanky clothes, if you do not consider old loose jeans and a t-shirt skanky. This is just me being sick and tired of being blamed for the childish degrading acts of some men because if you’re a girl, I’m sure you have gone through this at least once in your life: blamed for being a woman.

I remember waiting for the bus one Summer afternoon to go to the gym. While waiting for the bus to come, I stood reading a book (Full Frontal Feminism by Valenti, oh the irony!) when I heard a car hitting the break behind me. I looked around and saw a group of guys in a car laughing and making kissing sounds at me while the guy at the passenger seat rolled down his window and screamed “hey there sexy legs!”. Infused with feminist spirit at the moment, I just stared at the screamer, refusing to break eye contact till he looked away. The car sped by and I’m not sure if it was me feeling empowered because I stood my ground and did not react in a submissive way, but I saw the expression on his face changed, as if ashamed that he said what he said, in broad day light mind you. When the car was gone, I took a look at myself and despite every feminist books that I have read, I told myself, “Alina, your gym shorts might be too short” and somehow put part of the blame on me, while tugging at my shorts.

The very next day, I was walking back from the library and I heard laughter behind me. Before I could turn around to take a look for myself, I heard someone screamed “hey there sexy lady!”. As the car passed me by, I saw the same guy from the previous day looking and making kissing faces at me. I stopped in my tracks and could only stare at him, not believing my “luck”. He saw my expression and maybe somehow remembered that he has pulled something similar on me the previous day, quickly wind the window up. I looked down at myself and I was wearing long sweatpants, with an old sweatshirt on. And they have started the cat calling even before they saw who they were cat calling at.

The hospital incident today only proved it all once again, that when a woman is harassed with sexual implied taunts, it is not because she is a looker or her wardrobe is skanky, but because she is simply a woman. So when a woman confide in you over her street harassment, what she was wearing, how she looked or where she was, is not the main concern, but the behavior of young men is.